3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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