Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
