I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
