im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
