I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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