Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize