I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize