stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
