My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
