It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
