I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Holy shit dude........stairs
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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