smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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