So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
