Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
