just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
