I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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