okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
