just tell him i said nine months
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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