Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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