I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
