im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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