Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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