Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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