the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
