Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
