I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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