Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
