How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
