We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
