I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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