I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
