We're facebook friends in real life
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
