whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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