all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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