NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
