Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize