I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
