somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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