My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
