Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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