The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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