i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
