Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
and i looked up. we had an audience...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
