see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
