my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
