whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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