I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
