We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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