..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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