Hey man sorry I got all grabby
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
