the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Vodka?
Forever.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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