It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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