He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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