it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my being single is dangerous.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize