ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
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Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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