What did we do last night that was yellow?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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