I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
