i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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