Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
