If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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