I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
