So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Mom said you looked used
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
