I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
